=frizziekizzie

Just float away...

Disconnected

Journal Entry: Thu Jul 3, 2008, 5:14 AM

.:My Head:.

I am such a coward, today...aniiversary that my Dad left - seven years ago today. I just seem to be away from everybody else. I can't talk or take part properly.

The only person who...I need, I know it can never happen. I just need to be close to him, not have this useless connection that we seem to have...

About six months ago, I tried to commit suicide...I still think about it everyday. In October, I asked him why he worried so much. He said he can't help feeling that he has a responsibility to look out for me, that he cares a hec of a lot.

I know this sounds dramatic, but I am dead inside, I just exist. Nothing comes of me anymore, I can't write or talk. I just feel so sad all the time, and I can't find anything.

I'm sorry, sorry for writing this and taking up your time, it's just to think that this time seven years ago my mum was on the phone to my Dad's bit on the side. That's how she found out, by his mobile phone bills. The row they had that night, we went to my nan's and my mum just broke down. Why would he do that?

I feel bad for leaving the girls, I am such a crap friend. Sorry my darlings

Love Kizzie
xxx

Clubs

24 Comments

Mood: Distressed
Listening to: The screams inside my head.
Reading: 'Insatiable' - Eve Elliot
Watching: My ugly reflection
Drinking: Nada

Devious Comments

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*Kasabe

Jul 3, 2008, 7:22:10 AM

It's ok Mad, but you know if you had come into day then we could have helped you, made you feel better. and don't worry about your dad, if he can't see how wonderfull you and Annie and your mum are, then he isn't worth your time

--
The coroner will find ink in my veins and blood on my computer keys.

The Greatest Mistake In Life Is Continually Fearing You Will Make One.

~broken-little-mee

Jul 3, 2008, 8:27:05 AM

You are NOT a crap friend, will you try to come in tomorrow so that I can go up your house?

--
She tied you to the kitchen chain
She broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

~littlelisa637

Jul 3, 2008, 9:48:44 AM

Don't be sorry, you're not a crap friend and you're not wasting mine or anyone elses time. We all need support so don't worry about it, we care about you, thats why we read your journals and try to help you.

--
Lets be friends

98% of teenagers have tried drugs or alchohol. Paste this into your signature if you like toast.

~x-Becka-x

Jul 3, 2008, 10:13:42 AM

beths right hun! Look your not a crap friend your the best friend eva! try to block the past hun its not worth your tears i wish it better

--
Death smiles at us all, all we cn do is smile back
Never frown because you never know when someone is falling in love with your smile
A stranger stabs you in the front, a friend stabs you in the back but a best friend doesnt carry kinfes!